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David Trinko: When a dog attacks … a stuffed animal

When our 2-year-old dog sits still, he is often mistaken for an oversized plush toy.

He is a white and brown “Goldendoodle” with golden retrievers and poodles mixed in with soft, frizzy hair. He is the most fluffy and friendly puppy you can meet for £ 30.

He loves to play. He loves to hug. He loves to be loved.

He is also a serial killer.

There is an ectenia of victims awakening him: Helen, Lenny, Fox. There are many more that couldn’t live even long enough to name.

He loves destroying stuffed dogs. For reasons I don’t fully understand, my wife loves to find him stuffing dog toys with squeaks inside them to destroy.

Other than that, he’s a pretty good boy. I love fluffy things, but they leave children’s toys alone.

He’s also doing well with the particular brand of balls and bones we’ve found and is tough enough for him. But the stuffed animal is his kryptonite.

Many mornings I wake up and let the dog out and feed it. Then I start picking up the cloth and fluff scattered on the floor from the poor lizards, cows, and fox stuffed animals.

I know what you are saying: Stop buying stuffed dogs. I know this because I told my wife over and over again.

However, the dog’s immediate reaction to the new toy is super cute. It’s like a man’s best friend making a new best friend. He is very excited. He is very playful. He is very happy.

Then he then begins to tear his limbs.

That’s how we got to Helen. Helen started out as a squeaky cow. She was advertised as “indestructible” for large dogs.

what can I say? Our dog likes challenges. He tore her ears, eyes and mouth from her within 30 minutes. The name was set because one of our girls joked like Helen Keller.

Since then, Helen has lost all the padding. She now invites you to a tug-of-war game with a flat, durable fabric that our dogs like to carry around in their mouths.

My wife sent a photo of the genocide to the company. They kindly sent us another toy, the squirrels they claimed were more suitable for destructive dogs. Five minutes after opening it, I lost my leg, so I gave my sister-in-law’s dog the rest of the high-quality toys. My sister-in-law respects the integrity of the toy in a way that dogs can’t.

I don’t like how destructive our dogs are. Lenny had the same fate as Helen. The lizard, once proud, is now a flat fabric. All that Fox has left is the pink squeaky ball inside him.

I don’t allow my wife to keep buying toys and destroy them all over the house. She enables his serial killer propensity. She helps and beats our up-and-coming murderer.

I also understand that you love your loved ones, even if he has a nasty habit. It’s difficult to get angry with such a fluffy little monster.

Helen once had eyes, ears, and mouth, with squeaks and fluff inside.

David Trinko is the editor-in-chief of The Lima News.To reach him in 567-242-0467,on mail dtrinko@limanews.com Or on Twitter @Lima_Trinko..



David Trinko: When a dog attacks … a stuffed animal

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