Jerry Zejima: Standing up with lemonade

The old way of saying when life gives you a lemon, you will have a lot of car repair costs. So you should have a garage sale. And there is no better way to seduce customers than using a lemonade stand.

It had when my granddaughters Chloe and Lily decided that my wife Sue (their grandmother) and our next daughter Lauren (their mom) decided to embark on this money-making company. It was a great idea.

The idea for a garage sale in Lauren’s front yard was to push a lot of junk piled up in each house onto the bargain. No need, take it home and make it their junk.

On the day of the big event, the lawn was full of things, many of which were valuable. The main reason was that it wasn’t worth anything.

The best place was the lemonade stand.

Chloe wanted to charge $ 3 a glass. Lauren said no, so Chloe offered $ 2. In the end, it was decided that 50 Cent was a fair price.

“OK,” Chloe said. “But I want a tip jar.”

Chloe had won to charge a quarter syrup, a colored sugar water that could be added to lemonade, for an additional 25 cents, which was also denied.

And it was enough to quench the thirst of the entire Luxembourg population: two 96-ounce bottles of “organic lemonade”. We also prepared 3 small bottles of syrup (red, green, purple), 100 7-ounce cups, and the same number of ecologically correct straws.

The sale was supposed to start at 9am. The first customer appeared at 8:15.

“How much is this stool?” She asked.

“Usually it’s a thousand dollars, but today there’s a special deal for just $ 5,” I replied.

“I take it,” said the woman.

It was my only sale of the day.

Another woman came and asked about the wine rack.

“I lightened the load for you by drinking all the wine,” I said.

She left without saying a word, probably because I gave her a drink.

Someone else asked about the child seat.

“It’s $ 3,” I said. “Baby is not included.”

Money was not included either.

Chloe (8 years old) and Lily (5 years old) were lucky with other customers.

“We have a lot of great things!” Chloe rang.

Lily added, “Sell everything for free!”

“I can go for that,” said the man.

Meanwhile, the lemonade stand was being cleaned. I poured drinks, Lily put in syrup, and Chloe raised money.

Unfortunately, the herd of people was larger than the bee herd.

“This must be a bee neighborhood,” I told the guy who didn’t buy lemonade but left a quarter tip for the girl anyway.

At lunch time, Chloe and I went inside to eat a peanut butter sandwich and a cup of lemonade, respectively.

Then Lily came and had a bowl of macaroni and cheese. I also had it.

“Eat lemonade,” Lily said.

Lily filled the cup with red syrup.

Then she asked me to have another cup of green syrup, followed by a cup of purple syrup. Lily stirred them all with a paper straw.

“Why don’t you have it?” I asked.

Lily shook her head and said, “I don’t like lemonade.”

After 7 cups, I made a beehive at the convenience of porcelain, even if the bees were out.

Back in the garden, a woman walked with her little son and a pair of giant schnauzers who suffocated Chloe with a kiss (a dog, not a child wrapped in three glasses of lemonade).

The woman yak with Sue and Lauren for an hour before buying anything.

Tom and Mary Anne, neighbors of a couple with an eight-month-old granddaughter, bought a children’s slide and several children’s cars.

“They all took my grandfather’s test,” I assured them.

The sale ended at 3 pm, at which point we calculated the receipt for the day.

Lauren earned $ 160.

Sue was only $ 32.

“Given that the sale lasted for six hours, it doesn’t even have a minimum wage,” Lauren commented.

Chloe and Lily raked for a total of $ 6.25. I threw $ 10.

“Let’s put it in the piggy bank!” Lily said.

I took the rest of the lemonade home.

“Maybe,” Chloe suggested. “You can put a lemonade stand in your house.”

Jerry Zejima

Jerry Zezima is the author of the Tribune News Service humor column and the author of five books. Email: Blog:

Jerry Zejima: Standing up with lemonade

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