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Talk to Dad about his son’s mysterious bruise

Q. My 7-year-old son is constantly returning from his father’s house with a bruise on his knee and shin. I asked my son where they came from, but he doesn’t seem to know. His father was very conscientious when we were together, but I’m still very worried. I suspect my son is taking the place of his father. I think you need to call the child protection service to check in. What is good etiquette?

A. Good etiquette is “good behavior after dissolution”. Some of that good behavior asks us not to doubt when there is a clear answer. Your son is 7 years old. I’ve never met a 7 year old boy who isn’t bruised or bumpy. He probably collapsed while playing. But more importantly, you need to ask yourself why your first idea was to call CPS instead of his dad. This tells you that you are not working together. You are looking for blame and mistakes — and it will not take you anywhere.

Parents with resentment may think that if they report enough to other parents, they will lose custody and can leave their children to them. That tactic rarely works. It keeps stirring things, asking children which parents are telling the truth, miserable traffic, and frustrated and angry kids who don’t know how to build a loving relationship when they get older. Is to create us.

If your son is 7 years old, you have a very long time to share custody. If you have questions for another 11 years, you can fight CPS, discuss, call or start working with your child’s name. Working together is far more beneficial to my son than a CPS worker going to school, pulling him out of class and asking how he suffered a bruise on his leg.

This does not mean that bruises are not an indicator of abuse or neglect. Of course, they are, and sometimes children lie about what happened, fearing to kick out the perpetrators. Parents should be vigilant. But if your parents were conscientious when you were with them, they will remain conscientious even if you are away. If your parents were abusive when you were with them, there is likely to be a problem and the CPS will be the logical institution to seek help.

I don’t know the inside story, but your situation doesn’t sound abusive or negligent to me. Start talking to each other. Compare notes. Enjoy talking together about your son’s disgust. Then, if he gets a bruise or a bruise, you know it was the result of a play or he was an accident that needed the support of both of you.

Working together is good etiquette. We do not oppose each other.

Dr. Jann Blackstone is the author of “Former Etiquette for Parents: Good Behavior After Divorce or Separation” and the founder of the Bonus Family at www.bonusfamilies.com.



Talk to Dad about his son’s mysterious bruise

Source link Talk to Dad about his son’s mysterious bruise

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